The life and times of Skintight Jaguars

The Ballad of Wilson.

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Back from the tour and hungry like the wolf. We are survivors.
We drank, we went to the beach, we played some shows, some people turned up, and yes, there were injokes aplenty.

So how were the shows I hear you cry into your pillows at night? Well my nosey fuckin’ parkers… They were good. Some were amazing (Cheltenham) and some were abysmal (Weston SM), which has resulted in the creation of my overall review of good. This is the UK we’re talking about here! people can’t afford to leave their houses anymore in fear of house repossesion and the credit crunch eating it’s way through the pantry like there was a potato famine.
The week however was a bonafide British holiday. Enjoying the shitty beaches, drinking lots of Strongbow, driving a lot and getting hot and sweaty in the traffic, listening to mid-90s rap CDs, listening to Yngwie Malmsteen’s ‘Odyssey’ album, listening to our seldom funny jokes, paying extortinate prices for crappy Ginster sausage rolls at service stations, paying £30 for a pink acoustic guitar named Marlene, paying £1 to buy a new friend Wilson – the ‘Shoot’ football that smacks you in the side of the head and says ‘Boing!’ like it was a 1940s edition of the Beano, brushing ballbags, wearing hats, wearing do-rags, buying finery and stealing finery. We did it all, we had it all, and we’re gonna have it again. 

New phrases include: ‘Shine Me Up’, ‘Wilsons’, ‘Boston Crab’, ‘Hey main’ and ‘Sympathy’. ‘Sympathy’ is an important one to remember, so get your notebook out you noncing jobsworth:
Sympathy is the application of eyeliner and mascara on a man, and according to Mike Ness in 1981, it’s used “to create sympathy, make it look like you’ve been crying, to create a sympathetic look so people can sympathise with your band and the punk rock scene”. See? So next time you go out and fancy putting some slap on – don’t! Put some fuckin’ sympathy on instead. 
These are the new words on the street so keep up.

Thanks to everyone who turned up to shows, and thanks to all the other bands who we played with, especially the ones who organised things and made top notch posters, like Da Capo for Bristol’s show at the Junction.

Riot And The Popshots were darlings too so make sure you continue to support them and get involved at their shows: 

See you back in the streets of blood ladies and gentlemen. x


Written by kiplegend

August 9, 2008 at 11:15 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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